What’s Love Got to Do With It?
Photo by Chantelle Pence
Chantelle Pence - Featured Columnist
“I live in reality, not La La land!” someone told me recently. I took the hit, and felt it settle over me. They were right. They live solidly in the world of what can be seen. But reality can be a little harsh for me sometimes. So I dream.
My dreams have led me to different people, places, and things that have enriched my life. There is physical currency and spiritual currency, and we need enough of each. Last month I wrote about being physically prepared and resilient enough to meet life’s challenges. But we need spiritual reserves as well. We need to engage in activities that enthuse and inspire. What stokes your fire?
Love is what fuels me.
Photo by Chantelle Pence
A life without love is a life without beauty. And it quickly loses appeal to me. I fall in love whenever I can. With the way the sun sparkles on the snow. With a stranger in a grocery store. With a child’s laughter. With my dog, who sometimes does things so disgusting my logical mind could wonder if he’s deserving. But love doesn’t keep score like that. Love is a state of being.
Valentine’s Day shows up on the calendar as a reminder that love is important. Is it everything? Probably not to someone who is starving. But “Man can’t live by bread alone.” Perhaps this is why I feel compelled to do silly things like make ice hearts and hang them along a public trail, as I did at the beginning of February. It was a project that I started last year, in Anchorage. Even though I don’t live there anymore I wanted to nurture the seed that had been planted, so hopefully it will take root and continue on without me.
Last year the one-mile trail around Cheney Lake was full of ice hearts, hanging from the trees. It brought joy to hundreds, maybe even thousands of people. It started with just a few ice hearts that I made, and then others were inspired to do the same. The movement spread like wildfire and by Valentine’s Day there were hearts of all sizes decorating the trail.
It was fun for me to see the reaction of people, and hear folks talking about the “trail of hearts” in coffee shops, at the Fred Meyer store, and elsewhere. No one knew how it started, until a neighbor outed me to the local media. They did stories on it, which was nice. But it was more fun for me to remain anonymous and observe the unfiltered reac- tions of the community. It doesn’t matter so much who lights the fire, the value is in how many are warmed by it.
Photo by Chantelle Pence
I’ve been trying to find my niche since coming back to the region. Where can I sow seeds of love that will grow into something nourishing? The distance. The harsh conditions. The shared history and defenses.
I’ve found it difficult to connect with others. Maybe it’s the result of the cultural shift that has taken place over the past couple of years. Or maybe I’m just too picky. I can talk only so much about the weather. I shy from certain aspects of religion, thus haven’t committed to a congregation. I’m not the bar or bingo type. I’m leery of private club mentality and clannish behavior that often gets played out in small communities. So, I’ve been alone a lot, trying to figure out where and how to make offerings. It takes discernment to know where to show up with an open heart, and where to be guarded.
We are pretty survival based out here, and it’s easy to wonder what love has to do with anything. But life is more than just surviving. If we don’t live with some abandon, and connect with others through music, laughter, dance, art and celebration...it’s pretty dry.
Maybe I just need to show up to the local church and sing my heart out. Find a watering hole and share some jokes. Bake a pie for a neighbor and deliver it. I tried bingo once and was bored out of my mind. But...I could give it another try.
February is the month of love. But it’s also the end of winter, when even the moose are tired. The cold and dark can settle into the heart and mind. All the more reason to create something beautiful. Love is worth striving for.
Photo by Chantelle Pence
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” After reading that passage from the bible I realize that this season of life may not be for me to do things that are easy, like being kind to strangers and hanging ice hearts from trees. It’s a time for me to do the hard work of loving those close to me.
As I contemplate all that love encompasses, and who we are called to be, I see that my work is to dig deep, and make space for more light to live inside of me. Where have I been boastful? Where have I been easily angered and unforgiving? Have I dishonored others with my opinions and speech? It’s hard to face where I have been harsh or unloving. But it humbles me. It makes the soil of my heart soft. And that’s a good place to grow new dreams.
❄︎
More from Chantelle Pence:
